When my wife and I had our third child, we went through a really difficult adjustment time. It took us probably anywhere from 3-6 months to find our groove again as a family. During that time a friend reminded me of something pretty obvious – our lives had changed. (I know, I said it was obvious.) The two child family had been forever replaced by the three child family. And so we were in a period of not only a great gain, but a significant loss. You know what? He was right. Our new reality, as awesome as it was, also included a significant loss.
Every gain is also a loss, isn’t it?
You got a new job, but you lost the old one. You got married, but you lost the single life. Your church grew to 200 people, but you lost the church of 100. Your business expanded, but you lost the simplicity of what it once was. You gained a new direction, but you lost a dream.
Sometimes when we experience something new and exciting, we find ourselves in kind of a funk. It doesn’t feel as awesome as we thought it would. I think at least part of that is because we’ve not only gained something, but we’ve lost something as well. And with every loss, there’s a mourning period that takes place. And that’s ok. It’s ok to feel some sadness about your new chapter in life. In fact, I think recognizing what was lost actually helps you to embrace what is new.
Can I make a suggestion? Take the time to appreciate what you’ve lost. Talk about it, recognize what has changed. Doing so brings closure. And if you can mourn what was lost then it will be easier to really enjoy what is new and to give yourself fully to it.